Is there a word stronger than love? Because I feel it.
Tonight was one of those rare nights that all three of my boys were in bed asleep by 9:30pm and I, being the night owl that I am, stayed awake until... well. It is currently 11:45 and I plan on folding a load of laundry while watching a TV show still tonight. So probably until 12:30 or so. In this alone time, I would typically be thinking about how nice it is to relax and have some time to myself. But instead tonight, all I can think about is the word "love."
Love is so strong and so powerful, yet I feel something even greater for those three, perfect, sleeping boys upstairs. I would give my life for any one of them, I would do anything they needed, no questions asked. When I think about my real feelings deep down for my husband, I instantly tear up. When I think about the process of my children growing into the little men they have become, I get a tight not in my stomach from happiness. The feelings I have and the emotions that truly overwhelm me when I really think about any of the three, are obviously way more than love. There must be a word out there that can explain what I am feeling, but I have not found on yet. As I wrote my husband his "good morning" note tonight I almost just put, "I ______ you!" because I LOVE you does not relay the emotion that the word is meant to portray.
You know, some people say that I use the word perfect too much. They ask how I can truly believe things can be perfect. Well, my response is, how is one's own family NOT perfect? The definition of perfect is "having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics... absolute; complete." I DO have all the desired elements, qualities, and characteristics within the family Bobby and I have created. My life is absolute and complete. Even though I have a desire to do more things and accomplish more goals, knowing that I have achieved a wonderful marriage and started the lives of two boys who will grow into wonderful men someday is satisfying enough for me. If my life were to be taken tomorrow, I would not be disappointed or feel at a loss. Because I have achieved great things and am beyond pleased with my "perfect" family. Because to me, my family is just that. Perfect... for me. And I love each one of them more than I could ever, in a trillion years, express. I love them deeper than love.
"We do not know if life is greater than death, but love is greater than either."
